


'I don't like it here.'

by Cerfblanc



Series: Teen Sam & Nathan [2]
Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:23:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9499946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerfblanc/pseuds/Cerfblanc
Summary: Sam oftenly becomes unaware of his surroundings — and little Nathan has to deal with the aftermath of his brother's doings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently still working on the requests I've received, but I've decided to post some of my old work for now just to keep things updated ^_^

_Sam_

_~_

"I don't like it here."

It was the first thing Nathan had whispered ever since we had went to our shared bedroom.

The large room was dark, made to look homely, but didn't feel homely at all. No matter how we looked at it, with a positive attitude or not, nothing changed in the slightest. There was that 'something' about the orphanage. Yes, it was nice and all, not as harsh, I suppose, and the sisters worked hard to keep us all in line.

Then again, some of us enjoyed stepping out of line—

—only for a little bit.

That was all.

_It wasn't like I always did that every time I—_

"Sam."

I blinked, feeling the bluish darkness of the room overwhelm my mind when I turned my head to face my brother.

Nathan was twelve years old, soon to be thirteen in a month or two. He'd stayed in his own bed for the first couple of weeks, and then, all of a sudden, hours after I had fallen asleep, I'd find him cuddled close to my chest. He'd have his arms swaddled loosely around my waist, his legs somehow intertwined with mine, and his head would be buried in around the crook of my neck.

I didn't know whether I was just a really heavy sleeper, or whether he'd woken me up at a point where I can't remember inviting him to sleep with me, but which ever way I'd found us like this — Nathan was always curled up beside me — and I was always covering him in a protective manner. Even whenever it was hot in the room, and the duvet was still over us both, we'd still be in that position. Instinctively, I'd probably just kick the blankets off of us, maybe even subconsciously yank off my top whilst I'm at it (if the room got even warmer).

I mean, I wasn't bothered by him sneaking his way into my bed.

It actually felt…somewhat _comforting_ to know he was there.

Even though I _knew_ he was there, just across the room, next to me in the other bed, bundled in a duvet that would likely suffocate him if he buried himself deep into it enough.

It felt good. To know he was physically beside me.

"Hey."

I blinked twice this time, rubbing my eyes, trying to get a grip, trying to get myself away from the thinking.

Nathan was laid in my bed, on his side, facing me. Even in the navy-tinged darkness of the room I could see the brightness of his eyes. I could practically see them shine. I could see their glossy reflection being wiped away for a second as he blinked at me, soon returning afterwards.

"What?" I whispered, rubbing my eyes once more.

"I don't like it here." He repeated this time, slightly louder. I shuffled closer to him, and he shuffled back to give me space. When I'd laid down beside him, on my back with my head tilted in his direction, he edged a little more closer to my face, so he could see me clearer.

"I don't like it either." I whispered back, blinking tiredly.

_Hell, what time was it?_

"But it's the best place for us right now. We can't leave." I continued.

"You'll get us out, right?"

I gave a nod. "Uh-huh, I'll find a way to get money. Get a job maybe. I can try and sneak out at night. Maybe throughout the day whenever we don't have our Latin classes. It'll be okay."

"Promise?" He squeaked out.

I nodded again. "Of course."

"You'll take me with you?"

"I'll take you anywhere with me."

"What if we get caught?"

"We'll run away again. It isn't that hard. The police will probably give up on us at some point. It depends how good we are with staying out of trouble."

He let out a quiet giggle, and I smiled.

"Sure. You've already been taken out of several activities this week."

I laughed. "Okay — now _that_ was not my fault, I was just asking a question—"

"Yeah, a really damn inappropriate one to ask a fucking nun."

I couldn't stop chuckling at this point, at the thought and at my brother's comments. Despite now being in an orphanage with adults, I still wanted to be a 'parent' to Nate, whether he liked it or not.

"Hey, language." I said, flicking him on the forehead, and he winced lightly at the feeling, shutting his eyes.

"You swear all the time. Even in Latin class and church."

"I was interested."

"You were interested in how to say a few _'particular vulgar words'_ as Sister Catherine quoted—"

" _Nathan_."

I sent him a look, and he squeaked out another giggle.

When he rolled over onto his back, I heard him let out a sigh.

I could see him better now. The way he was lying made it easy for me to figure out which way he was looking — which was up at the ceiling.

_His body was so small._

I blinked at him, in the dark.

I remember a year ago, we both had to share a bed for whatever reason. Nathan was on my right, and I was laid on the left. It was a double bed, I think. Generally, I was a pretty heavy sleeper back then — before all of this shit started with Mom and Dad — and Nathan had developed the habit of staying awake until he was literally exhausted. He'd stay awake to the point where he'd have bloodshot eyes in the morning when he'd have to get up for school.

It was probably all of the domestic abuse that caused that.

That's maybe why we had to share a bed in that last year.

_For comfort._

"Are you…still going out with that girl…?"

"Who — Crystal?"

"Hm."

I could sense the curiosity in his voice. In the way he carefully put his wording.

I looked up at the ceiling in that moment too.

"Ah…currently off…again…at the minute. Not much has been going on." I answered gently. "Why you ask?"

He shifted and hesitated before saying, "No reason."

"Nathan."

"What? I'm just…curious."

"Yeah — you're too young for _that_."

"Ew, no."

I let out a humoured laugh at his statement. "I'm just saying. At some point you'll be wanting it."

He was silent for a couple of seconds. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

"Nate, your voice is gonna break soon."

"But…I don't want it to break."

"You sound like a ten year old."

"…Well I like it like that. Beat it."

"Yeah…well…" I paused in thought, thinking of something to say that would make him cringe, "You can't stop yourself from getting hard."

"Oh my God, Sam, no." Nathan rolled over, away from me as I chuckled at his reaction. He buried his face into one of my pillows, curling up into a ball of embarrassment.

"Hey, little brother," I cooed, poking his side. He didn't answer.

"Nathan?"

_"Does she like you?"_

"Crystal, right?"

_"Yeah."_

"…uh…yeah, I guess."

_"Do you like her?"_

"Well yeah. I kinda have to if I'm with her anyway—" I stopped short once I realised he was much quieter now with what and how he was speaking to me. Not because of him mumbling into a pillow, but his few straight-forward questions.

"Hey…Nathan…" I started softly, setting a hand to his shoulder. He still didn't move. "Is there something wrong..?"

_"Um…no…"_

"What is it? You can tell me anything."

_"…I can't really explain it…"_

"Hey, I'm sure you can. Try."

_"You won't like me if I tell you."_

"Nate, I'm your brother."

"That's what makes it weird!" He said, rolling back over so I could see his face. Before I could say anything, he hid his face again.

"Just tell me, I promise you, whatever it is I won't be mad or anything." I assured.

_Of course, it can't be that bad—_

_"I like you."_

I froze.

_—He what?_

I reached over to my bedside table, fumbling to find the lamp switch in order to see and speak to him much clearer, and when I did, once I looked back to him he'd turned over again. His hazel hair was sprawled across the pillow he had his head on, and his wide eyes seemed to shine even brighter than before, even without light.  
  
"…I'm sorry…" he mumbled out, his eyes suddenly glazing over, and he pulled the pillow from behind his head to his chest, squeezing it tightly in dread.

"Nathan…I…"

_Fuck._

_You've screwed it up now._

_For real._

_I mean, this was normal, right? It's a one-time-experience kind of thing, right? Hell, I'm sure I've had things come to me like this before, right? Well, at least I think I have…?_

_How the fuck am I meant to respond to that?_

Nathan's eyes were watering now, and I almost went into a series of panics once he gripped the pillow tighter, soon letting out a little noise of embarrassment and regret. I opened my mouth, getting a surge of confidence into my mind, and when I tried to speak, I literally choked on air.

_Say something dammit!_

Nathan squeaked, and whirled away from me to the other side of the bed, his back now the only thing I could see.

"N-Nate," I forced out with an uncertain gulp, "D-Do you want to talk about it…? I-I wouldn't mind…"

I fucking _stuttered._

The amount of screaming, panicking, manic voices I heard when I finally had the wit to speak.

_It felt like Hell._

_"I'm terrible, aren't I."_ My brother muffled into the pillow he still suffocatingly hugged. _"I-It's not nice at all. I-I shouldn't have even told you…"_

I sat back for a moment, for a moment — dragged into my thoughts.

Months back I had actually (blindly and obliviously) thought about doing _it_ with my twelve year old brother. I mean, how the hell could someone not think about that? Your mind just so happens to decide to go off in that direction, and leave it to you to deal with the mentally-awkward aftermath — in this case — the _reality_ of the aftermath.

Because that is the beginning of the whole concept.

I mean, I wouldn't say it was like a wet dream or anything, it was one of those random moments you got every time you sat back in your chair in class and stare out the window closest to you, somehow finding a solitary place for a second or two, then being called out of it by your teacher.

_Heck, I could even remember a couple of the details._

_My kid-brother was fucking grinding on my—_

"…I-I'm sorry Sam…"

I blinked.

Hesitantly, I reached over, gently poking him in the shoulder to see if he would turn over — in which he didn't. When I tried once more and still got no response I sat back.

"If…you're not gonna turn over…then…" I thought strategically, "…at least let me hold you."

He slowly turned his head, his left eye the only thing I could see. I lay back down, shuffling over so I could hang one arm around him, his face close and near to my chest. We stayed like that for a moment — just the two of us. We listened to each other's breathing, and our heartbeats.

"…do you hate me…?" He mumbled out. I hugged him tighter, assuringly.

"Nathan…y'know…Crystal and I aren't… _really_ …an official thing…"

"…but still…"

"I don't hate you, Nathan. Get that into your head. I'll always love you."

"…in what way…?"

I wasn't sure whether to feel rather flattered about the whole thing. I never thought myself as an 'attractive' sort of guy, someone who wasn't really as confident as others thought, and also who doesn't know how to keep a relationship in balance.

I didn't see myself being a good influence, either credited myself when I did something good, because I knew, in the end I'd always screw it up one way or another.

"Why do you like me…that way?" I asked.

Nathan shuffled in the embrace, hesitant and unsure whether to slip his thin arms around my waist, so I pulled him close, rolling onto my back so I could get him up onto my chest.

"…because…you're…just a nice person to be around with…" he responded in a hushed tone.

"That can't be all."

He didn't answer.

"Hey, Nathan…"

He slowly lifted himself off my chest, and he rolled over to his original spot, laid on his back with his head turned away from me. His hair fell to one side, covering his eyes, and curved in at his small, round face and cheekbones.

Hesitantly, I sat up, and hovered over him, not having any time to debate to myself whether I should do it or not before he looked up at me, so I leant down in that moment — gently tilting his head up before he could even ask what was happening — and pressed my lips to his own.

 


End file.
